Diva Disillusioned

I guess somewhere, not very far behind, in the labyrinth that is my mind, this is what I have wanted. Fantasised about even. But then my mucky mind has fantasised a million things already. Young, horny men. Boys really. Salivating at your simplest little shake of the hip. You casually, as part of the song of course, grind your ass into their crotch. Oh! The instant rise. A part of you is almost embarassed and wishing you were sitting at home and eating instead, and a saucier part of you pushes ass further into the said crotch to remind the kid, who is boss. Complete attention to him for 15 minutes and then complete inattention. Switch your affection, attention and ass to someone else. A friend of a friend's who's always attracted you anyway. Dance with him instead for a while. He is 30. So he has the guts and gumption to steal a kiss. You break away and wonder, Deja Vu. (Drunk and at a club. I kiss. ) The kid at the corner feels hurt and sulks. You still ignore. He then gets your friend to get you to dance with him, you go, cos the 30 year-old is horny too, and to feel that erection is just lame. Then there come a moment, when there's almost a dance-off between the 2 men who are trying to impress you and for a while you dance with the both of them. It is weird and exhilarating. You are half in the moment and the other half is screamiing inside your head saying, “Is someone filming this please?” Drama galore, the club amost stands in a circle and applauds when you finish your last dance with aplomb. Which guy to go home with. You know, that your panties will be on, but they don't. There's a 9 year age gap and they still behave the same. You choose the sober one (But of course) and go home. You have obviously miscalculated and it hits home when fully clothed, and making tea, you turn to hug him and his boner tries to enter you through your pajamas as he whispers, “I love you” in your ears. You try to laugh it off, but he insists, being used to being around other 21 year olds. You then say the legend and as you say it, You can't deny it. There is immense power and drama, “You are too young for me.” And you drive him outta your house. Wishing you had instead tried your hand at the drunken 30 year-old, or better, danced alone, or better stayed home eating, or fat. But you know, next weekend, the drama will repeat. Till then....